A few days ago I received an email from Change.org to sign a new proposal. Its author was Eva Bailén and her request was aimed at the rationalization of homework in the classroom, a more than controversial issue in parents' WhatsApp groups, at school gates in many parts of the country and in the parks of many cities.
For me, this headline made me think and change the focus of it a bit: 'Happy kids or competitive kids, why are we educating our kids? '
I believe that any father or mother wants happiness for our children, and if I'm wrong, they correct me. As unfortunately, no child comes with a manual under his arm, we read magazines, we buy books and we search on the internet for something that answers those big questions that constantly recur in our little heads: 'How do we raise happy children? What are we educating our children for? '
The answer is not in any of these sites, the solution to this enigma is in us, that many times we err when it comes to pointing out the path that leads to that long-awaited happiness. We do not need to punish ourselves or feel guilty, this parenthood is something that we are learning thanks to the teaching-error method and, let's not forget, that what works for some, fails for another! But perhaps it would be good if we reflected on certain small daily aspects.
Sometimes we think, because we believe it as adults and because our parents have transmitted it to us, that their happiness happens because they are the best in school, something that will lead them to be someone in life, to get a good job and to have a life at least equal to or, if possible, better than ours.
Perhaps for this reason, we are not aware that we 'pressure' them to be the number 1 in their class, to master a second language without having barely reached the age of 10, so that they know music, theater and singing, so that they develop with ease in disciplines such as dance or theater, or for them to become the new Cristiano Ronaldo or Leo Messi without thinking that, perhaps, it is not something they want and, of course, that they have asked, because for them happiness is something else.
Happiness for children is limited to things so normal and obvious that adults ignore them and go unnoticed. Daily stress prevents us from seeing those details that are so important to them. What can we do to have happy kids? What things do they value?
- That we go to take them or pick them up at school.
- That we tell them a story every night.
- Let us play with them and not be aware of the mobile all day.
- Give them a hug.
- Let's not yell at them.
- That we listen to them and do not keep them silent at all times.
- Let us see their favorite series or movie with them, even if it is the fifteenth time.
- That we let them help us cook, knowing that they will leave everything stained.
- Let us go down to the park or the skating rink on a Sunday morning.
- Give them a good night kiss.
I once read a phrase by Agatha Christie that said: 'One of the luckiest things that can happen to you in life is to have a happy childhood.' And what reason was he, because only in this way will we be able to plant the best foundations for a future full of happiness and to have adults educating in values.
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