How difficult it is to ask for forgiveness sometimes! We have made a mistake, we have done or said something that is not right, we feel bad and we want to change this behavior. No, I am not talking about children, in this case I am talking about fathers and mothers. Yes, as you hear it, mothers and fathers make mistakes and we do or say things to our children that are not quite right, such as an extra cry, a punishment or consequence that we really should not have and so on. Situations more than sure already sound like plenty.
If we are so clear about our mistake, why is it so complicated apologize to our children? Today we talk about the main reasons why parents should say sorry to children and do so when appropriate.
Let me start talking about this by telling you what happened to me this morning. It was rush hour at home, the rush to get to school and work on time was noticeable and my son was not up to the task of doing things ... So there I was saying over and over again: 'Adrián, you're going to be late for school ',' Adrián, it's time for breakfast ',' Adrián, you haven't brushed your teeth yet '. 'I'm just tired', was all the response I got to so much pleading, so as I got nervous I ended up raising my voice and slapping him on the ass. Which it was the result? Well, you can imagine, my son got angry, he was late for school And I felt terrible for acting like that.
On the way to school I spoke to him and asked for forgiveness, I told him that I was sorry to have yelled, that I should not have done it and that the slap on the ass was out of place. His response this time was to tell me that he too was sorry that he had not done his things and that if we hugged each other. Perhaps this is the first of the reasons and one of the most important why parents should ask their children for forgiveness: the fact of setting an example.
1. If you ask your children for forgiveness, you are setting an example
Isn't it contradictory to think that children have to ask for forgiveness, but we never do? The little ones learn by imitation, you already know it well: if you scream they scream, if you smile they smile and if you ask for forgiveness they will do it when they have made a mistake in something.
Is there something wrong with showing children that we are human too? Of course not, and there is nothing wrong with making them see that everyone can err, the key is to recognize it, admit it and learn from it.
2. It is a basic life teaching
Apologizing from the heart and with humility is a teaching of life, as is tolerance to frustration, resilience or respect. It is about educating them in values. Who better than parents to teach this to children? Of course, to do it well we have to lead by example in practice and not just in theory. Letting go of pride and admitting that something is not right is a great lesson that every child should receive from their parents.
3. Open a new avenue of communication
Continuing with what I was telling you about my little chaos this morning, I realized that when I asked my son for forgiveness, I opened a way for dialogue. Why? Well, because when I recognized my mistake he felt like giving me a hug and telling me why he hadn't done his things that morning. Sorry, communication and lots of love, it's well worth it, don't you think?
4. Nobody is perfect
What does this have to do with forgiveness? Well, a lot. If you refuse to apologize to your children, you are sending them the wrong message that parents are never wrong, or worse, that even if they do, they must be right, which will result in children continuing the same pattern when they reach adulthood. Did you know that asking for forgiveness when it should be done is brave?
Now that it has become clear that there are many and very important reasons why parents should apologize to their children, it only remains to see how to do it. We are going to detail it with a few simple words:
- Ask your children for forgiveness when you realize your mistake, not the next day.
- Do it from the heart, looking into their eyes and with lots of love.
- Use words according to their age that they can understand well.
- Explain what your mistake was and say that you will try not to do it anymore.
- Don't be afraid if you feel like crying or if you feel fragile.
Ask for forgiveness and do it as many times as necessary, it is another ideal way to show the love you feel towards your children.
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