Be mothers and fathers

The most common (and avoidable) cause of stress for mothers

Taking a look at the social media feed of anyone between the ages of 20 and 40, it feels like we're experiencing a true baby boom, right? And it is increasingly common to find photos of the babies or children of your friends, family or acquaintances in their online profiles. But, what is behind this need to share the photos of our babies? According to a recent study, nothing good! And is that use of Facebook creates stress in new mothers, an anxiety that can certainly be avoided.

To put ourselves in a situation, I'm going to introduce you to Monica (a fictitious name that any new mother could identify with). Her case may seem exaggerated or ridiculous, but I can assure you that she is not the only one.

Monica breastfeeds her little Nacho, who is barely two months old, on demand. There have been several times that she has had to get up throughout the night to breastfeed him, interrupting your sleep and rest. The next morning, she is very tired (and proof of this are her dark circles and that shuffling of her feet).

He has not yet had time to brush his hair or take off his pajamas, but he is already with the mobile in his hand checking how many 'likes' and comments the photo has got that he shared the day before with little Nacho while they were walking through the park. She is so concentrated thinking about what filter will be able to the image that she is going to upload today, that she has not realized that Nacho will wake up soon and has not even had breakfast.

And I wonder ... why should a woman who has just become a mother she's so obsessed with sharing photos of her baby? Wouldn't it be better to spend that time getting a little more sleep or spending more time with your little one?

The reason behind this behavior, more frequent than we might think, is what a group of experts from the Ohio State University of Columbus have investigated. The results of the surveys carried out on some 300 new fathers and mothers have been collected in the study: 'The use of Facebook by first-time fathers in the transition to parenthood'.

And what has been concluded? On the one hand, mothers use social networks to a greater extent than fathers to share images of their babies. And because? This research suggests that they do it because they feel alone and need to connect with other people. Since her new status as a mom makes dating difficult, They use social media to interact with others.

In fact, they consider that all the 'likes' they receive are small messages of support and endorsement of their work as a mother. It is a way that many moms use to feel recognized and validated in his new role.

However, social networks become a double weapon because, what do you think happens when the photos do not receive as many interactions as the mother expects? This situation causes stress, insecurity and a very bitter feeling. As one of the authors of this study explains: 'We have found that mothers who were more likely to seek this external validation as mothers (…) indirectly experienced more depression symptoms after being more active on Facebook. More Facebook usage is linked to more stress for new mothers. '

And what is this due to? He not getting as much positive interaction online can be frustrating. It can even affect the self-esteem of the person in question who wonders what he is doing wrong. On the other hand, in social networks it is impossible not to compare yourself with others and this can make us feel even more pressured or devalued.

We know that you are also a very proud mother of the little person you have created and you want the whole world to see it. But, before uploading a photo of your baby or a child to a social network, reconsider. These are some of the reasons why you should not share photos in which the image of your children is recognizable.

1 Children's opinion
It is clear that right now your child, especially if it is a baby, is not going to tell you anything that you have published this or another photo. You may love that picture you made when changing the diaper, but your child may not find it as fun.

Ask yourself the following questions: when you grow up, will you like to know that this image is visible to anyone? Are you violating their image or privacy rights? We cannot forget that no matter how much our child is, a baby's private life is his, not ours. And, therefore, we must respect it.

2 There are dangers of pedophiles or pedophiles
As unpleasant as it is to talk about it, we cannot put on a blindfold not to see all the pedophiles and pedophiles that are on the Internet. Before, they approached children in the parks, but now they have at their disposal a large number of photos and videos that parents themselves post on the Internet.

Some people think that by having their social media profiles private, no one who is not in their circle of followers will see the photos they share. However, we must bear in mind that a large number of mobile devices are hacked (more than we might expect). You may be lucky that your mobile is virus-free, but would you put your hand on fire for the cell phones of each and every one of your followers who has access to the images of your children?

3 You give clues from your life that you would not want to share
Would you tell a stranger what school your child goes to or what schedule he has? Well, this is part of the information that you are giving away, for example, when you publish a photo of your little one leaving school or wearing the uniform.

4 You lose control of the photos you post
Once you share an image on the Internet, you lose all control over it, so you never know where and who it could reach. As a general rule, experts usually recommend not to publish anything that you would not like everyone (your boss, a stranger, your parents, some neighbors ...) to see.

Does this mean that we should stop using Facebook and other social networks? Not at all! But we must start using it with common sense so that no one, not new mothers or children, are harmed in any way.

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Video: Moms On Stress. Parents (November 2021).